Line

There’s a huge diff between that BDSM book you read last week–heck even I’ve blogged about BDSM books–and (let’s just go for the general) behaving badly, which obviously is a mileage may vary phrase.

I’ve actually been called onto the carpet for stuff I wrote about my ex–not that it was horrible, or even bad, but I did blog about him. I won’t anymore.

DO I feel stifled? No. I write erotic romance and I DO feel that gives me a certain freedom (or leeway if you will) BUT I draw the line somewhere.

Are you the queen of your castle?

Go on, you know what I mean. Remember when Jerry and the gang made a bet on Seinfeld? I can’t remember who won, but I think Kramer was out first. Anyway, let’s hear it. How long can you go between sessions? Of course, all the Seinfeld characters were single so, that will definitely factor into the equation for many of our readers. But come on, you know you still do it. I mean, let’s face it. Sometimes it’s nice just to give ourselves a quickie without worrying about someone else, right? And for those of us who aren’t partnered up with someone, well, what are we going to do? I mean, if I didn’t choke the chicken every now and then, I’d be even more crazy than I usually am. Which is pretty darn crazy.

So anyway. Tell me. How often do you spank your monkey?

Oh, and I’d love for someone to try and guess how often I do the little wanky dance.

Quiz results!

Here’s the results of the second edition of So you think you know us?

1. Who has a scar on their shin?
That would be Jason, who, according to his version of the story, got hit by a “60-mile per hour” fastball while playing softball.

2. Who has spent the night in jail (on more than one occasion)?
Jason. Once for something he did and once because the cops were looking for his cousin and were holding Jason as collateral or something.

3. Who lettered in high school sports for 6 straight years?
Me. I was on varsity track since the 7th grade as a sprinter. I was one of those skinny beanpole kids whose speed peaked (and plateaued) at age 13, despite my track coach’s threats that someday I’d be getting “hips and boobs.” I’m still waiting on the boobs.

4. Who is older?
Well, that would also be Me. By a mere five months. I’m no cradle robber.

5. Who once got 9 large marshmallows into their mouth?
Jason. The man is a human pocket gopher.

6. Who had a green dirt bike as a kid?
Me. Which I rode at top speed down our gravel driveway to soar off our makeshift (log and plywood) bike ramp. Which segues nicely into our next question…

7. Who had pieces of gravel in their kneecap for over 10 years following a rollerblading accident?
Also Me. I went rollerblading for the first time in college and the rental place had run out of kneepads. They had wrist guards though, which were entirely unhelpful when I bit it on a deserted tennis court by rolling over an insignificant pebble that lodged in my wheel and made me bloodily shred my jeans and kneecap.

As my friends oohed and aahed over the gore, I “cleaned” the oozing wound by phantomly daubing at it while looking at something else entirely. Ten years later, I was absentmindedly running my hand over my kneecap when I felt a small bump under the skin. Which then popped out and revealed itself to be a small pebble. A 10-year-old pebble that had been living in germy bliss under my knee skin. Eww. Anyway, KNEEPADS, people!

8. Who has carried the Olympic torch?
Me. You probably won’t believe this, but it’s true: Somehow or another, I was chosen to participate in the Olympic Torch Run when I was about 17. I’m not sure how I was chosen, but let’s assume it was because I was awesome.

I don’t remember too much about the experience itself except that the distance I ran was really, really short and the Olympic Torch was really, really heavy. I’d show you pictures, but (this is true, I swear to God), the pictures were on the same roll of film as my band trip to Hawaii. The same roll of film that got ruined when my mom insisted I take it into a new place in town that developed photos.

(Actual quote from idiot film destroyer: “This looks like a lawnmower.” Me: “That’s the HULA BOWL. In Hawaii. Where I will probably never return in my life.” Idiot film destroyer: “This picture looks like it has fire in it.” Me: “Argh – that’s the Olympic Torch!”)

I could show you a picture of the snazzy t-shirt I got for participating, only it was stolen from my senior high gym locker. (Also totally true.)

9. Who needs three shots of Novocaine while at the dentist?
Jason. He is some kind of freak of nature, and I love when our normal dentist (who is in the National Guard) is gone, because I can only imagine the skepticism that results when Jason begs the new dentist for THREE shots because he “needs it, man!”

10. Who once dated a person named after a celestial being? AND,
BONUS POINTS if you can guess the name of that person.
Oh, your answers to this one were so great. The answer to this one is Jason. And Tessie is half right: the girl’s name was Star. But not Star Jones.

The winner? Again, Becky (Jason’s mom) won, with 8 correct answers and the correct answer to the bonus question. But since she’s ineligible, Michelle was the next big winner, with 8 correct answers. Michelle, you win a P&D magnet set, which I’ll give to you in person someday since we see each other in real life.

Thanks for playing, everybody! Keep your eyes open for Volume 3, coming sometime after I have thoroughly bored you with wedding and honeymoon talk and pictures.

So you think you know us?

I like this times one million.

Much like I will make the occasional (more expensive) Etsy purchase to support an at-home asskickin’ mama sewing, I would consider the financial sacrifice of such a company to support an enterprise with ethical practices (just own less OTHER stuff). Wonder if there are ethically-produced and gender-neutral clothing companies stateside.

Also: obviously companies must find non-gendered marketing a risk, otherwise we’d see more of it. And we really don’t.

This was cheering to read – thank you!

In passing

I have been taking care of family members so far…the 2 legged and the 4 legged variety and also one that technically has been divorced from the sis but whom I still consider family. Today, that changes however because today is book buying day. I have been composing my lists all morning…not that I can afford everything I want but I try to prioritize!