He lost confidence?

Oct 7, 2013 

Has he lost confidence since when the job interview didn't go well last year, maybe? I don't know. It just crossed my mind all of a sudden.  He has seemed OK ever since but, there is a possibility he has actually been uneasy? He gave it a shot for career change last year, by the way. 

Recently he started to work on again for the next try almost every night for the past weeks, or maybe months, I am not sure. He got several how-to books for job-interviews and resume and career history. I think ... it takes too much time for him just to make one carreer history. And the number of the books. He doesn't tell me but, which means he is actually uneasy so trying to prepare for his best? He is confident as usuall, though?

I don't know how I should treat him... How should I support him? 

Just in my opinion, men in general tend to be competitive, keener and hates to lose. Perhaps he doesn't even realize himself that he feels uneasy. Not knowing, he trys to get rid of the feeling. That's why he trys so hard.. 

Ah, then maybe what I should do is to bring him up. No negative words. 

....... Hmmm, what ascetic practices ... hah,hah...

I haven't had any compliment from him. Never.. I know this is not about give-and-take kind of matter but ... Hmmm... Anyway I will try. 

Believe yourself

Sep 25, 2013 /

I suppose it was Yoshi who did this to me first.

I learned that it is called "moral harassment, apparently. Well, at least my cases fit the examples quite a bit. Anyway, 10 years of being harassed is enough to remove every single confidence and self-esteem from me.

What happens when you are in that kind of situation? You would always worry the harasser's feeling not to make him/her mad. You would always, always put him/her first and then you would come to be unsure what you really want to do, what you really like, and you would lose your own sense of right and wrong. More simply, you would be a complete kiss-ass.

Interestingly, some people around me gradually changed their attitude once I was "too nice" to them. Apparently they began looking down on me. No I am not just being paranoid. While there are many who appreciate my consideration, there actually are some people who try to exploit me. That means once you become weak you will be a prey. What is worse, they don't realize they are exploiting. They believe that they have the right to exploit because they are way more excellent than you.

 

After all, I bitterly learned. There are tons and tons of people in this world who are harsh like Yoshi and senseless like them. You can't avoid all of them in your whole life. The important things are to learn how to defend, deny, insist. It doesn't matter if you are right or wrong. Just be strong as yourself. Believe yourself no matter what. 

I will not be a prey of those inconsiderate people anymonre, so I determined. 

Of course, I won't forget being considerate and paying regard.

 

...Oh, I must say this! Yoshi has changed. I don't know why but he is much less harsh to me now. Maybe I have met his standard, or maybe he has learned to be thoughtful. Maybe both. We have learned about each other. 10 years of marriage mean a lot.

I don't want to give up on every relationship for moral harassment. 

 

dawn breaks

Sep 17, 2013 

The season's 18th Typhoon has gone finally, eh? She left disastrous floods in Kansai area and other places. I am sorry for all who are affeceted. 

Yoshi, Jack and I happened to have visited Yoshi's aunt. She lives in Tamba, Hyogo. It is located next to Fukuchiyama, one of the flooded cities. Fortunately her place was OK. A river lays right behind her house but it didn't break. It was so close, though. 

Yesterday, the day the typhoon went through the mainland Japan, we were going to go back home to Yamanashi. Actually we couldn't get out of Kansai area by the evening. All the highways were completely blocked. We didn't check the local roads but should have been blocked too. Eventually we left Kansai around 8 in the evening. Apparently, just like us, many other people were also waiting for the highways back open. We had heavy traffic jam through the night... 

It was 5 in the morning when we finally arrived at home... We were like, "Ahh, I can't believe I see the dawn breaks..."

We should have stayed one more night at Yoshi's aunt's but Yoshi had to go for work today.. We slept till noon and then, belated, the ordinary day started...

Jack, our lovely dog, was the only one who enjoyed heavenly afternoon nap...

Kicked him out

September 10, 2013 

It's getting cooler these days. I can tell that the fall has come because Jack, my lovely dog, began to climb into my bed or Yoshi's. He seems to feel a bit chilly when sleeping these days.

Last night I had a dream and I accidentally kicked him out. I was playing soccer in the dream. Sorry, Jack!

 

里親さんを募集しています！

里親さん決まりました！

July 14, 2013 

One of Yoshi's co-workers raised his hand to be a foster father!! Now the cat has a wonderful foster family and a huge house. He can eat as much as he wants and participates in cats' night meeting! 

Thank you for all who have helped me with finding the cat's new owner. I deeply appreciate it!!

 

 

 

July 5, 2013 

 I have looked for the cat's owner for a month but couldn't find it. I thought it is time to find new home for him to live for his lifetime.

Please check out this page below if you are interested in having this black cat!

里親募集要項

Also check this out if you want to know his personality and life at my place. 

黒猫の日記