Oct 24,2013 
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I finished to read this book I mentioned here the other day.
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「あなたを傷つける人」の心理 きずな喪失症候群 (PHP文庫) |
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This is the book written by a psychologist, Taizo Kato.
I think it was helpful for me although most of the contents explained repetitively were something I have already realized. It is still helpful because it defined what I realized. It, say like, made clear the outline of my idea.
I understand what had really happened to me much more clearly now. I knew I have had neurosis but was not sure why it exactly happened or how. So now I come to see more concretely how I will get better.
I think I can start all over again.
I got these books. I am looking for the way out.
The former book was not so helpful for me. There are some useful advices but it feels to me that the rest is a bundle of mere discurtive sentences.
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「怒れない人」の心理 隠された敵意は悩みとなって現れる (PHP文庫) |
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The latter one I have not read yet. It was delivered today.
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「あなたを傷つける人」の心理 きずな喪失症候群 (PHP文庫) |
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PHP研究所
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Don't call me obsessive, OK? 
January 14, 2013 
It is snowing heavily today. Yoshi and I worked on to shovel snow this morning. It is still falling so I guess we have to fight another round. Anyway.
Today I will write about something called moral harassment. Have you heard of the words? Moral harassment resembles to power harassment and sexual harassment. The difference is ... I didn't exactly know myself so I read this book below.
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モラル・ハラスメント―人を傷つけずにはいられない |
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| 紀伊國屋書店 |
This book explained very well (I found the translation is not quite good though... It doesn't bother you when understanding the contents.) After 10 years of suffering I finally realize that I surely was the victim.
It introduces many cases how the harassment comes up and goes to. I found a lot in common with my case. I thought my experiences were very odd that no one would understand but these kinds of problems happen world wide. See, in fact this book was written in France! A wife's comment in one of the cases, "In order to solve this problem, I have to change. Otherwise we have to get divorced." This is exactly what I thought repetitively!
The author Marie-France Hirigoyen wrote about the harasser's psycological problems. However what I focused on was not that. She also pointed out that the victim's behavior encourages the harasser's vicious attitudes. I understand that I was so stereo-typed victim!
I make a list here about myself to do and not to do. I hope with this list I will be harassed no more.
TO DOs
- to be dignified
- to say "no" when I really don't want to
- to keep calm when I was blamed for nothing
- to be proud of myself more
- to believe my common sense
- to say my opinion out loud when it is necessary
NOT TO DOs
- not to make a smile when I am insulted
- not to accept people's opinion blindly
Do you want to learn more about Moral Harassment? Please read this book or Read this.
Not all the people have goodwill. However they are not always trying to trick you but they are protecting theirselves by doing it. Normally when you are not confident you would make efforts so you gain confident. However when they are not confident they try to dirty other people so they look better than the people.
You don't have to be too cautious but better bear it in mind. You don't have to avenge but ignore them discreetly.