Mar 25, 2005 
I would like to introduce you to a book called The Five Love Languages.
This is the book for those who want to have better relationship with your partner.
The first year of Yoshi's and my marriage was disaster.
I know it was just accumulation of each other's pet-peeves that both Yoshi and I kept setting off.
We started our marriage out of Japan. All public rules in Canada were totally different. Yoshi started his hectic graduate school life and he counted on me to deal with everything about our lives. But I was a stranger here. I had totally no idea about anything!! I was just, ... freaked out because I had no one else to ask for help. Can you believe it that we didn't even know how to activate our telephone line??!!!
It felt like everything was just going wrong.
That gave us extremely hard time and made us harsh to each other.
I didn't regret marrying him but everything was just like in the dark that I couldn't see anything for sure.
Yoshi was the only one I was able to rely on at the time but he didn't have room to take care of me. He was just so busy getting used to studying in English. I always felt sad and on my own because all Yoshi said were followed by a tsking noise with no smile at all. I was dying for the feeling to be loved. I felt like it would never come again.
And because of that I stated above, I didn' t have room to take care of Yoshi either. I was always nagging, complaining and yelling at him. I could do nothing but bother him...
I had no idea what to do...
And then I found this book.
It was an eye-opener to me.
According to the author, the ways people feel to be loved were as different as languages spoken all over the world. To communicate with people from abroad, you should learn their language first, right? It is the same. In order to show your love to your partner, you should learn his/her way of love. Otherwise, he/she would never find that you love him/her no matter how desperate you express your love in your way. The author calls it love languages.
That's what is happening to many married couples who are on the verge of divorce. They surely love each other but just don't know one another's love language. For instance, you express your love by giving gifts and bunches of flowers. Your partner feels unloved because you hardly listen and talk to her. In this case, your love language is giving gifts and her love language is quality time with you. You should speak her love language.
In order to maintain long term relationship, the principle is crucial.
You don't always have to be selfless. Just you look at your partner a little more closer. You will learn how he/she is pleased.
I learnt a lot from this book.
It was quite easy to understand because a lot of case studies were introduced along with the author's idea. His main occupation is a marriage counselor so every case study is close to home. They all are likely to happen.
I don't think I have realized all what the author said in this book yet. But it is for sure that this book will be the compass when I am lost in marriage.
This book is not just for married couples but all of you who want to get along with somebody.
The Five Love Languageという本が
ですv
結婚カウンセラーが書く、結婚生活バイブル～。
愛情表現は人それぞれで、著者はそれを言語に例えています。
例えば、英語圏の人には英語で話さないと通じませんよね？
それと同じで、たとえ自分は思いきり愛を表現してると思っていても、表現方法が違う為に、相手には全然伝わってないってことが沢山あるのです。
「私のこと全然わかってくれない！！」
夫婦やカップルのけんかに良くあるセリフ（笑
愛されてるなぁ～
って感じるポイントがずれてるからなんだそうですょ。
この本は、じゃあどうやって相手に分かるように愛情表現すればいいの？ってコトを、カウンセラーらしく実際の具体例を挙げて、めっちゃ分かりやすく説明してあるのですv
離婚率の多い現代に、誰もが必読！の本だと思います。
おすすめ！
もちろん結婚してない人にも～！！
子育てに悩んでるパパママにも良い！（子育てバージョンの本も出てるらしいですょ）
良い人間関係を築く為にも必読必読！！
I would like to introduce you to a book called The Five Love Languages.
This is the book for those who want to have better relationship with your partner.
The first year of Yoshi's and my marriage was disaster.
I know it was just accumulation of each other's pet-peeves that both Yoshi and I kept setting off.
We started our marriage out of Japan. All public rules in Canada were totally different. Yoshi started his hectic graduate school life and he counted on me to deal with everything about our lives. But I was a stranger here. I had totally no idea about anything!! I was just, ... freaked out because I had no one else to ask for help. Can you believe it that we didn't even know how to activate our telephone line??!!!
It felt like everything was just going wrong.
That gave us extremely hard time and made us harsh to each other.
I didn't regret marrying him but everything was just like in the dark that I couldn't see anything for sure.
Yoshi was the only one I was able to rely on at the time but he didn't have room to take care of me. He was just so busy getting used to studying in English. I always felt sad and on my own because all Yoshi said were followed by a tsking noise with no smile at all. I was dying for the feeling to be loved. I felt like it would never come again.
And because of that I stated above, I didn' t have room to take care of Yoshi either. I was always nagging, complaining and yelling at him. I could do nothing but bother him...
I had no idea what to do...
And then I found this book.
It was an eye-opener to me.
According to the author, the ways people feel to be loved were as different as languages spoken all over the world. To communicate with people from abroad, you should learn their language first, right? It is the same. In order to show your love to your partner, you should learn his/her way of love. Otherwise, he/she would never find that you love him/her no matter how desperate you express your love in your way. The author calls it love languages.
That's what is happening to many married couples who are on the verge of divorce. They surely love each other but just don't know one another's love language. For instance, you express your love by giving gifts and bunches of flowers. Your partner feels unloved because you hardly listen and talk to her. In this case, your love language is giving gifts and her love language is quality time with you. You should speak her love language.
In order to maintain long term relationship, the principle is crucial.
You don't always have to be selfless. Just you look at your partner a little more closer. You will learn how he/she is pleased.
I learnt a lot from this book.
It was quite easy to understand because a lot of case studies were introduced along with the author's idea. His main occupation is a marriage counselor so every case study is close to home. They all are likely to happen.
I don't think I have realized all what the author said in this book yet. But it is for sure that this book will be the compass when I am lost in marriage.
This book is not just for married couples but all of you who want to get along with somebody.
The Five Love Languageという本が
ですv結婚カウンセラーが書く、結婚生活バイブル～。
愛情表現は人それぞれで、著者はそれを言語に例えています。
例えば、英語圏の人には英語で話さないと通じませんよね？
それと同じで、たとえ自分は思いきり愛を表現してると思っていても、表現方法が違う為に、相手には全然伝わってないってことが沢山あるのです。
「私のこと全然わかってくれない！！」
夫婦やカップルのけんかに良くあるセリフ（笑
愛されてるなぁ～
って感じるポイントがずれてるからなんだそうですょ。この本は、じゃあどうやって相手に分かるように愛情表現すればいいの？ってコトを、カウンセラーらしく実際の具体例を挙げて、めっちゃ分かりやすく説明してあるのですv
離婚率の多い現代に、誰もが必読！の本だと思います。
おすすめ！
もちろん結婚してない人にも～！！
子育てに悩んでるパパママにも良い！（子育てバージョンの本も出てるらしいですょ）
良い人間関係を築く為にも必読必読！！
まーでも今はSSBの日本人誰もが認めるラブラブカップルじゃーないですか！（特に独身男性人は真面目に羨ましがってるよ！はは。）
好きだった漫画に、心にトゲトゲができても、いっぱいできても、それがいつかは丸くなるんだ（イガがいっぱい生えて、マリモっぽくなるかんじ？）っていう節があって、それが割と心に残ってます。（sassiaさんの意図とちょっと違うかな？）まー、心に染みるものは何でもいいものです。
泣いても笑っても私はあと１０日間！終わったら、また映画行こう！
私もカナダに来る前は「彼をサポートするぞ！」ってかたく決心してたけど、無私無欲でそれを実践するのはやっぱり無理だったわぁ（笑
てか、お母さんじゃないんだから無私無欲なんてもともと不可能なんだょ！そんな悟りは開けなかった（笑
マリモの話、全くその通り。
初めからパーフェクトな関係なんて無くて、ガチンコx２ぶつかって、丁度いい距離感を肌で学んでいくものらしいょ～。この２年でめちゃ勉強になりました（笑
映画もいいけど、最近お天気がイイからどこか外に出掛けよぅよ～v unionville にお茶しに行こぅv
天気のいい日に、かわいい場所で、ゆっくり座ってほわ～ってするのが好き