Mar 30, 2005 
I got a call from Vancouver. It was a friend of mine who married a Canadian guy 3 years ago. OK, let's call her Fumie. ( Let me know if you have any better idea about your nick name, Fumie.)
We have been knowing each other for more than 5 years. We met in Perth, Australia. We were both staying there studying English together. I openly respected her because she had a lot in her personality that I didn't have. I badly wanted to be like her at the time but, I guess not any more. Now I know people are all different and irreplaceable. No one can be anyone else, right? Heh, heh.
And I feel that she has changed quite a bit. Yes, people change. So do I. I cannot fully understand what has happened and affected to her but she must have gone through a lot of things. Just like me. And just like everybody in the world.
Anyway,
It was funny I was so happy to talk to her.
For the past one year or two, I have been kind of paranoid. I hardly believed that people were honest to me because I, myself, wasn't to them. Because, by some reasons, I had completely lost self-esteem. I had nothing to confidently tell people about. I was always wearing fake smiles. I hated myself behaving like that.
So I terribly treated her and her husband Rob when they came to Toronto less than a months after I moved in here. They stayed my place for a few days. I felt bad for them but .. I was just ... SO PARANOID ... I had no clue how I could possibly be any better person... I was exhausted having them here that I even hoped they would leave as soon as possible. Horrible, aren't I ?!!
It has taken me very long time but I guess I recovered.
Yes, I can tell because I, now, take it happy that I am supposed to feel happy. Do you know what I mean? When you have depression or some kind of mental disorder, you can't feel happiness. Hard to believe for those who never got mentally ill, but it is absolutely true!
And yes, I was so happy to get a call from her! It is the obvious sign that I recovered from the stupid miserable feeling. And of course, I enjoyed to chat with her. That was one of the greatest chitchat I have ever had in years.
... I hope Fumie will forgive my ill behavior in the past ... ( Would you, Fumie?)
バンクーバーに居る友達とおしゃべりしましたー。
久しぶりv
カナダに来たら気軽に遊んだりできるとか漠然と思ってたけど、
同じカナダ国内と言っても、西の端っこと東の端っことでは遠すぎますからね（笑； 時差４時間もあるし。…あれ？３時間だったかな？ 結局、私がトロントに来てすぐに彼女に遊びにきてもらって以来、一度も会ってません。
帰る前にバンクーバーを訪ねたいですなー。。
独り身だったらもっと気軽に行けるんだけど。でも旅行にはお金もかかるし、やっぱりだんなYoshiに相談が先だー。むーぅ。
話したのは他愛も無い内容だけど、それが女友達とのおしゃべりの醍醐味ってか、どぉでもいいのに楽しーんですよねん。
彼女と私は、６年前にオーストラリアで仲良し６人の中の2人でした。
この６年でみんなそれぞれの生活を展開して、あの頃に比べたら全然疎遠になっちゃった感が否めないけど、でもそれでもこうして繋がってるのが嬉しいです。
I got a call from Vancouver. It was a friend of mine who married a Canadian guy 3 years ago. OK, let's call her Fumie. ( Let me know if you have any better idea about your nick name, Fumie.)
We have been knowing each other for more than 5 years. We met in Perth, Australia. We were both staying there studying English together. I openly respected her because she had a lot in her personality that I didn't have. I badly wanted to be like her at the time but, I guess not any more. Now I know people are all different and irreplaceable. No one can be anyone else, right? Heh, heh.
And I feel that she has changed quite a bit. Yes, people change. So do I. I cannot fully understand what has happened and affected to her but she must have gone through a lot of things. Just like me. And just like everybody in the world.
Anyway,
It was funny I was so happy to talk to her.
For the past one year or two, I have been kind of paranoid. I hardly believed that people were honest to me because I, myself, wasn't to them. Because, by some reasons, I had completely lost self-esteem. I had nothing to confidently tell people about. I was always wearing fake smiles. I hated myself behaving like that.
So I terribly treated her and her husband Rob when they came to Toronto less than a months after I moved in here. They stayed my place for a few days. I felt bad for them but .. I was just ... SO PARANOID ... I had no clue how I could possibly be any better person... I was exhausted having them here that I even hoped they would leave as soon as possible. Horrible, aren't I ?!!
It has taken me very long time but I guess I recovered.
Yes, I can tell because I, now, take it happy that I am supposed to feel happy. Do you know what I mean? When you have depression or some kind of mental disorder, you can't feel happiness. Hard to believe for those who never got mentally ill, but it is absolutely true!
And yes, I was so happy to get a call from her! It is the obvious sign that I recovered from the stupid miserable feeling. And of course, I enjoyed to chat with her. That was one of the greatest chitchat I have ever had in years.
... I hope Fumie will forgive my ill behavior in the past ... ( Would you, Fumie?)
バンクーバーに居る友達とおしゃべりしましたー。
久しぶりv
カナダに来たら気軽に遊んだりできるとか漠然と思ってたけど、
同じカナダ国内と言っても、西の端っこと東の端っことでは遠すぎますからね（笑； 時差４時間もあるし。…あれ？３時間だったかな？ 結局、私がトロントに来てすぐに彼女に遊びにきてもらって以来、一度も会ってません。
帰る前にバンクーバーを訪ねたいですなー。。
独り身だったらもっと気軽に行けるんだけど。でも旅行にはお金もかかるし、やっぱりだんなYoshiに相談が先だー。むーぅ。
話したのは他愛も無い内容だけど、それが女友達とのおしゃべりの醍醐味ってか、どぉでもいいのに楽しーんですよねん。
彼女と私は、６年前にオーストラリアで仲良し６人の中の2人でした。
この６年でみんなそれぞれの生活を展開して、あの頃に比べたら全然疎遠になっちゃった感が否めないけど、でもそれでもこうして繋がってるのが嬉しいです。
At the time we went to Toronto, I was dying to meet my friends and speak Japanese, but I should have thought about your feeling....Since I have known you over 5years!!! (That long!)
And Yeah,it was good talking to you:)
Same here
And I am so glad to have you here.
I think I was so naive that I belived people way too much. I mean people are worth believeing, but I just counted on them too much when I was in trouble.
... Well, well. The reason is not a big deal anymore, eh?
I will email you soon! I have a lot to tell you about.