Sep 24, 2005 
I have just got email from a friend of mine.
He became a dad of a beautiful baby girl yesterday!!!!
Congratulations!!!
I am happy for him and his wife and, last but of course not least, the baby who was born safely. And also I am happy for myself because I feel "truly" happy about it.
You know, I had a miscarriage last summer. It devastated me and I was torn in pieces. I just couldn't stand hearing someone get pregnant or have a baby. I so badly wanted to be happy for them but ... I just couldn't do it...
I couldn't help but feel sad. I couldn't think anything but why my baby died in me while everyone else happily have one???
However, seems like time has mended my heart.
I feel fully happy for the friend now, "without the sorrow ! "
I have just got email from a friend of mine.
He became a dad of a beautiful baby girl yesterday!!!!
Congratulations!!!
I am happy for him and his wife and, last but of course not least, the baby who was born safely. And also I am happy for myself because I feel "truly" happy about it.
You know, I had a miscarriage last summer. It devastated me and I was torn in pieces. I just couldn't stand hearing someone get pregnant or have a baby. I so badly wanted to be happy for them but ... I just couldn't do it...
I couldn't help but feel sad. I couldn't think anything but why my baby died in me while everyone else happily have one???
However, seems like time has mended my heart.
I feel fully happy for the friend now, "without the sorrow ! "
生まれたての赤ちゃんにしては、すごく整った顔なので、ちょっとびっくりしました。。(だって綺麗なんやもん)
私はなかなかだめですけど、今回の彼の奥さんの妊娠の話は、いつもより受け止めはできたわ。。。
sassia（さんって付けるべき?)とはちょっと違った思い、やろうけどね。。。。
そのうち・そのうち。。。。と思ってはいるけど、とりあえずは、今を楽しむしかないね、
ところで、トロントにはいつ?
私も、ほんときれーな赤ちゃんと思ったょ。
そして、見た？あのすんなり伸びた指！生まれたてとは思えない白魚さ加減だよね！！
…いや～、ごめんだけど彼女の妊娠を聞いた時はやっぱり抵抗あったわょぅ。「…この人らにも、かぁ…。」とか。
でも、みんなに「私が子供産むまでは、作らないで！！」
確かに私たち、そっちの面では人よりちょっと壁にぶち当たっちゃってるけど、人生そればかりじゃないし。
他の人たちには無い、めちゃめちゃラッキーなものを持ってたり経験をしたりもしているのは確かなんだからさ、
そっちを喜ぼうょ～
トロント？
はね、多分来年の３月くらい？かな？
今度こそバンクーバー経由で行きたいよね～！！