May 8, 2000
Sliema, Malta # 3
Report: last night at 9 PM I through up. For diner I had two stuffed zucchini and before I had instant cup noodles. Usually I don’t eat anything instant but...
- in the last two days I’ve diarrhea. Frequent. I have heavy headache and sometimes I feel dizzy in these last couple of days. I went to Gozo this weekend and I ate grilled chicken but its color was red (uncooked) and after I ate the chicken I felt bad. This morning I had a strong headache and felt dizzy.
- I still have the feeling like I want to escape from Malta. I had made the arrangements to go to Gozo but I didn’t visit anywhere in Gozo, I just stayed for two days in the hotel room. It was comfortable like Sicily was, even more. So I was in the Jacuzzi and even they had an outside pool but I stayed indoors pool. I was with my friend who also wanted to escape from Malta.
- I just worry about when I go back to Japan whether or not anything will happen.
- even when I try to visit another place it is just escaping.
- I was informed that my minister in church at home got married. He must be over 70 years old. He had lost his wife three years ago. I don’t want to rely on unseen; I can realize Jesus’ existence by not God. Something happened to me or to someone else it is like a tricky thing. Some people says it is God’s power, but I don’t believe that kind of power. Tricky things like: my eldest brother had gotten married 8 years ago and they really wanted to have a baby but couldn’t conceive for a long time. Everyone is getting to give up on the baby but after they have new baby last month depends on people some kind of people said it’s by God’s help but I can’t say that.
- I don’t think that it is important that my mind – always need right information, enough to know. I want to say that knowledge is not knowledge that is normal (that is not coming at the end) so I can’t get everything. I want to recognize my knowledge. I thing I have some border from my knowledge because it is quite a big... if I do some action I need some information and knowledge as much as possible this is my limitation. Everyone has their own limitation. I want to know my limitation because I have never been satisfied, my experience and knowledge when I want to do something new in the past I’ve never been satisfied. Because I always feel that it is not enough. I always feel a lack of something. The world is so huge but I’m not in a hurry, I think.
- I think people want someone else to understand themselves but sometimes I feel it is a bad thing, I feel that I am so egoistic *(why? Because then are not me.)
- what is going on now? Huge word is forming in my brain...a friend told when people think and create something with words all the time but I can’t agree with him. He said that people think feel everything, their feelings, emotions comes from words. I just say it can’t be just be words.
Clearing:
- State: alive, waking up. I want to look in the brains of genius Decorates, Picaso
- Physical sensation: eyes, deep
- Feeling: calm, yet away. I was seeing flowers, but was away. It was familiar but it just wasn’t mine.
Entry: Faces state
1. THERAPY – SERVANT - FACILITATION TO HELP ME MAINTAIN MY RECORDS - Therapy for the Record Keeper: The direction of the Spirit / Soul / Essence is turned away from the Body and it creates a field of resentment (this is the bank out of which the record keeper has to try and respond to the task of giving you information about how you can live your life in the direction of you true human potential. In short, it doesn’t know because you, the owner, need to create it. And if this stalemate goes on indefinitely and never the twain shall meet you will be accumulating an increasing amount of more resentment adding to the pile already created by you ancestors.)
Therapy for the Record Keeper servant: Scleranthus Bach Flower
2. Subtle Body Therapy: Treatment is for all your ancestors - continue Ttt files: Have a Pow-Wow with your diverging aspects (soul - body, for the benefit of you and your ancestors)
Sliema, Malta # 3
Report: last night at 9 PM I through up. For diner I had two stuffed zucchini and before I had instant cup noodles. Usually I don’t eat anything instant but...
- in the last two days I’ve diarrhea. Frequent. I have heavy headache and sometimes I feel dizzy in these last couple of days. I went to Gozo this weekend and I ate grilled chicken but its color was red (uncooked) and after I ate the chicken I felt bad. This morning I had a strong headache and felt dizzy.
- I still have the feeling like I want to escape from Malta. I had made the arrangements to go to Gozo but I didn’t visit anywhere in Gozo, I just stayed for two days in the hotel room. It was comfortable like Sicily was, even more. So I was in the Jacuzzi and even they had an outside pool but I stayed indoors pool. I was with my friend who also wanted to escape from Malta.
- I just worry about when I go back to Japan whether or not anything will happen.
- even when I try to visit another place it is just escaping.
- I was informed that my minister in church at home got married. He must be over 70 years old. He had lost his wife three years ago. I don’t want to rely on unseen; I can realize Jesus’ existence by not God. Something happened to me or to someone else it is like a tricky thing. Some people says it is God’s power, but I don’t believe that kind of power. Tricky things like: my eldest brother had gotten married 8 years ago and they really wanted to have a baby but couldn’t conceive for a long time. Everyone is getting to give up on the baby but after they have new baby last month depends on people some kind of people said it’s by God’s help but I can’t say that.
- I don’t think that it is important that my mind – always need right information, enough to know. I want to say that knowledge is not knowledge that is normal (that is not coming at the end) so I can’t get everything. I want to recognize my knowledge. I thing I have some border from my knowledge because it is quite a big... if I do some action I need some information and knowledge as much as possible this is my limitation. Everyone has their own limitation. I want to know my limitation because I have never been satisfied, my experience and knowledge when I want to do something new in the past I’ve never been satisfied. Because I always feel that it is not enough. I always feel a lack of something. The world is so huge but I’m not in a hurry, I think.
- I think people want someone else to understand themselves but sometimes I feel it is a bad thing, I feel that I am so egoistic *(why? Because then are not me.)
- what is going on now? Huge word is forming in my brain...a friend told when people think and create something with words all the time but I can’t agree with him. He said that people think feel everything, their feelings, emotions comes from words. I just say it can’t be just be words.
Clearing:
- State: alive, waking up. I want to look in the brains of genius Decorates, Picaso
- Physical sensation: eyes, deep
- Feeling: calm, yet away. I was seeing flowers, but was away. It was familiar but it just wasn’t mine.
Entry: Faces state
1. THERAPY – SERVANT - FACILITATION TO HELP ME MAINTAIN MY RECORDS - Therapy for the Record Keeper: The direction of the Spirit / Soul / Essence is turned away from the Body and it creates a field of resentment (this is the bank out of which the record keeper has to try and respond to the task of giving you information about how you can live your life in the direction of you true human potential. In short, it doesn’t know because you, the owner, need to create it. And if this stalemate goes on indefinitely and never the twain shall meet you will be accumulating an increasing amount of more resentment adding to the pile already created by you ancestors.)
Therapy for the Record Keeper servant: Scleranthus Bach Flower
2. Subtle Body Therapy: Treatment is for all your ancestors - continue Ttt files: Have a Pow-Wow with your diverging aspects (soul - body, for the benefit of you and your ancestors)