The pain caused by sitting still

Pain...when doing a session of zazen there always be pains.
It starts with leg numbness and process to sharp pain with fear that legs would have injury.
By time passing once give an attention to the pain,it starts taking control whole mind.
To avoid the pain,starts to waiting finish time and counting left minutes.

Actually the pain is can bare but the fear that legs would have a blood stream problem if sitting still.
But if you could cut the circular fear, the pain would calm down.
Pain is like a wavelength, if there is an antenna it can take charge and begin to turn on.

So important thing is,focus on breathing but this breathing is not easy.
It can keep on minutes but brain keeps bring in a past memory that related with breathing.
You can't realize you are distracted from simple breathing when you didn't cut the breathing related thoughts.

Pain is necessary result it should not be a reason to avoid,without pain you can't see what your brain giving to you.

What can get from doing zazen

Zen instructors teach us that should not expect a merit from meditation and I agree.
Some kinds of meditation group let learners focus on a question such as "What is I",seeking an answer within themselves.
I don't follow such set a goal to do because I am tired of thinking on one conception.
We humans as known as thinking animals always think too much, sometimes a thought thinks itself.
We need to think of living a life,to do a work,to make a relationship with others, to gain self satisfied desires, to achieve purpose...but some people think too much about past happenings,a relationship which is broke up,sickness which came from wrong diets...
Those things whether good to think or not,they can't make it better by thinking.
By think deep the reality never change.
Every present situation only can change by doing,actually do to change the energy.
So simply sitting is the actual doing.
When a body keeps doing still,the mind will bring thing to do such as past things,some memories,concerning, worries, a desire that want to have...there are a lot of thought even are not linked to each other.
A thought to just to think.

See the way of thought,how they work,come and go,booming and disappearing.
A zen teacher once said,just see as if watching a passing train in front of you.
Thinking is just like he described, it is a passing train so we can't catch up.
By see a thought the mind begin to calm down.

So you can get calmness by sitting.
However it is indescribable if someone actually don't do,it cannot be described by reading,by knowing.

Realized

Yesterday,did meditation and realized that legs numbness caused by sitting still does not link to pain when mind does not predict.

I focused on breathing and stopped the judgement of my thought.
Just did the way I was taught.

If someone knows what is thinking and realize that the thinking is merely happened in brain synapse, like some branches winding from breaze.

Mind is like a tree,if is is windy day the tree winding,if it is stormy day a tree may broken its branches.
Like outside today, there is no wind and sunny,the branches and leaves are stay still.
If we don't make wind or storm, our minds can be still.