Marriage is a type of group that created by mankind.
結婚は人類が作り上げた集団の型である。
Encountered with a person who has completely different family name,
they make a bond with blood and inherit it to next generation.
全く別姓の人が出会い、
血で縁を作り後世につなげている。
They tie up each other with emotion and
they go to be separated by the emotion.
感情で結ばれ、
感情で別れていく。
Marriage is protected by law and
also attack opponent by the law.
法律で守られ、
法律で相手を攻撃もする。
It is under controlled by sexual hormone and
when the hormone becomes exhausted,
the love relationship goes to transform
to be just a physical relationship.
性ホルモンの支配下におかれ、
そのホルモンの枯渇により、
恋愛関係がただの物理関係に変貌していく。
People who chosen marriage as a ticket
which can take them to be happy
but when they judge they are not happy as they expected,
their marriage become to invalidate
from the status of love relationship into metrical relationship.
幸せになる切符として結婚を解釈した人は、
幸せでないと判断した時点で結婚状態を無効化する。
People who chosen to be married with whom has a condition
which is favorable to ensure social status
but when they come to judge such condition breaks down,
the meaning of marriage gets lose.
社会的地位を確保するために選択した好条件相手との結婚は、
その条件が崩れた時点で存続意味を失う。
I got remarried in my 50’s.
私は50代に入って再婚した。
It might be said properly that
my first marriage in Japan was
as to be a mean to survive if I have to describe it.
日本での初婚は強いて言えば、
生き残るための手段だったと言った方が適切かもしれない。
However, I still have a connection with him like kind of relatives,
so he is still a part of my life.
だが、今でも元夫と親戚のような関係を保っているから
彼も私の人生の一部分を占めている。
The first marriage that I have experienced which was based on law,
it seems to make able to take objective point of view
to see my current marriage life with my husband to compare.
初婚で形式的な法律に基づいた結婚生活をした経験があったからか、
今の夫との結婚生活に比較的に客観的な立場をとることができる。
Since I have been married with my husband internationally,
I have been having marriage pattern that
I never even imagined in my past.
夫との国際結婚により、
過去に想像すらできなかった生活様式を送っている。
The residential environment has been changed,
住まいの環境が変わり、
The kind of food I eat has changed,
食べ物の種類が変わり、
The language I use has changed,
使う言語が変わり、
The life style also has changed,
生活習慣も変わり、
The people I meet are also have been changed,
会っている人達も変わり、
The scenery I see also has changed,
見える景色も変わり、
The type of stress I take also has changed,
ストレスの種類も変わり、
Even the season has taken differently to change.
季節の変わり方さえも違う。
However, things that seems to unchanged yet,
it might be such as subject or phenomenon that I try to know,
the type of know ledge that related with personality formation
depending on my personal tendency.
だが、変わらないと思われるのは、
知ろうとする対象や現象、
知識の種類といった人格形成に関わる性格傾向だけかもしれない。
Strange thing is,
the old memory that attached on somewhere in my brain,
it reappears as changed way with a different interpreter,
so it makes me surprised.
不思議なことは、
脳裏にへばりついた昔の記憶が捉え方を変えて再び現れてくるので、
自らのことながらその再解釈には驚かされる。
I have been trying to carry out my belief that
would not be influenced by changeable circumstances,
but it seems to too hard to maintain
because the surrounding conditions of mine have changed a lot.
私は環境の変化に左右されない信念を貫くことを
実行しようとしてきたのだが、
変わってしまった周りの条件が多すぎて、
その信念を維持することが難しくなってきた気がする。
Sometimes I wonder if there will be a perfect form of a marriage.
たまに、完璧な結婚生活があり得るだろうかと思ったりする。
Thinking that what is a cause that
makes married people feel their marriage are imperfect
and what idea is rooted for their judgement in their mind.
不完全な結婚生活だと感じる心的背景には何が原因なのかも考えたりする。
Also think that what is pattern of thinking to judge
happy or unhappy and determine
which has a value for their mental backgrounds?
不幸だと判断することや幸せだと感じる価値判断に
根付いている考え方は何だろうかとも考えたりする。
I might should appreciate for my doing practice zazen-meditation that
made me not to hurry to get a conclusion for those above thoughts.
それらの考えに、
結論に急がなくなったのも
坐禅の修行のおかげかもしれないと思ったりする。
Whichever way of marriage types,
if someone tries to get a conclusion in a hurry,
the one loses option to choose for next opportunity
so that the situation gets narrow and suffering.
どんな結婚の在り方にしろ、
結論を早く出そうとすると次に選ぶ選択肢の余裕が無くなり、
状態が狭苦しくなる。
I try not to decide assertively as my conclusions such like,
my marriage is happy, perfect or ideal.
私は私の結婚生活が幸せだとか、
完璧だとか、理想的だとかの
ある断定的な状態に結論つけないようにしている。
Saying these and those like I want to do
but couldn’t do actually what I supposed to do,
such ideas come and go like seasonal change
and I am gazing at those mind changes.
自分がやりたいことをあれやこれや言い、
その言ったことを実際やったりやれなかったりしながら、
想いついたことも季節の変化のように過ぎっていくことを眺めたりする。
I guess that many of marriage problems caused by trials that
add extra forces artificially to be as they desired
before something gets solidifies spontaneously.
多くの結婚問題は何かの状態が自然に固まる前に、
余計な人工的な力を加え思い通りにしようとしたから
起こるかも知れない。
However, there must be a marriage case
which only can be solved by separated for the best.
だが、ある結婚では別れだけが
最善な解決策になる場合もあるだろう。
Even separated if someone tries to reconstruct their bonds that
they have been having from past,
it is possible for them to find a new form of relation to be.
そうなっても過去に結ばれた縁を再構築していけば、
新たな関係の在り方を見つけるようになるかも知れない。