Q #256:
In my relationship with my boss, I am having difficulty knowing the difference between the right and wrong mind.
I try to practice the principles of generosity, tolerance, and patience described in the manual for teachers,
but we have communication problems regarding my salary.
Ken:
（The problem is in my mind）
In studying the Course, it is important to remember that it speaks to us on different levels.
We are learning to undo the ego thought system with which we have identified, while learning an entirely new way of perceiving.
We seem to have a foot in two worlds and this can be very confusing.
The wrong mind sees the problem as outside of the mind caused by an external agent, in this case your boss.
The right mind recognizes that the cause is in the mind and the world of form is the effect.
It does not blame any situation on anything outside of the mind.
An easy way to distinguish which part of the mind has been chosen, is to ask
if you are attributing the cause of your upset to something outside of yourself.
This is a simple way of distinguishing the wrong mind from the right mind.
Recognizing that the cause of any upset is a choice in the mind is the beginning of right minded thinking.
It is not the whole story, but it is a beginning.
Since we still believe we are separate, individual bodies in the world,
we have to deal with the world and our relationships accordingly.
We continue to do whatever we must do to meet our perceived needs in the body.
There is nothing wrong with working out an agreement with your boss about your salary.
You can be honest about what you feel would be a just wage, and perhaps request a schedule for changes
so your salary doesn’t fluctuate unpredictably, if that is possible.
This is no different from any of the things we do to take care of the body.
The Course does not give any guidelines for behavior on the level of form.
Rather, it is teaching us to expose the thoughts and judgments we hold about ourselves and others in our minds,
so the mind can be healed.
Only then will the characteristics of a teacher of God, described in the manual, flow naturally from the healed mind.
They are not meant to be “exercised” or “practiced” while there are underlying beliefs that oppose them.
The practice of the Course rests in finding all the hidden beliefs that are in operation in your relationship with your boss, and with everyone.
These are the beliefs in separation, scarcity, and victimization that do in fact make all our relationships special.
The way to undo the specialness is to expose the beliefs by recognizing them and bringing them to the Holy Spirit to be transformed.
We are not being asked to practice holy qualities that we do not in fact possess, such as detachment from material wealth
or other “virtuous” mind sets. We are not being asked to be “good” at all (by the way, neither are we expected to go out of our way to “bad”).
We are asked only to look at our beliefs with a willingness to have them transformed.
That is not always as easy as it seems, because we have such a desire to hold on to them.
We are asked to become aware of our attachment to these beliefs and how much we do not want them to be changed.
We cling to them in spite of the guilt and pain they cause. Actually it is because of the guilt and pain that we do cling to them.
This is what the Course refers to as the attraction of guilt: “The sick attraction of guilt must be recognized for what it is.
For having been made real to you, it is essential to look at it clearly, and by withdrawing your investment in it,
to learn to let it go” (T-15.VII.3:1-2).
This is the guidance the Holy Spirit gives.
There is no imposition of His thought system, and no behavior in the world that is required.
Behind all concerns about money, poverty, and injustice is the feeling of lack and deprivation
that comes from the belief that our separation from God has truly been accomplished.
That is the fundamental belief that the Holy Spirit is inviting us to question.
It is the belief that underlies all the conflict with your boss.
While you work with your boss toward reaching an agreement about your salary,
you can apply the teachings of the Course by being very honest with yourself about
what you are feeling, and the thoughts of judgment that occur to you.
These thoughts and feelings represent the choice to identify with the ego’s thought system in the mind,
which is where healing is needed. When they are brought to the light of the Holy Spirit they are gradually transformed and replaced with His peace.
Only then will the issue of more or less money be irrelevant, and generosity, tolerance, and patience will replace all fear.
Until that point is reached, honesty with yourself about your perceived needs,
and honesty with your boss in searching for an agreement is the best place for practicing the Course.
Believing that an agreement is possible is already a recognition that to some extent you and your boss do not have separate interests.
And that is the beginning of healing.
