By the way, I read an interesting article of "24 hours" community newspaper the other day.
It is about "Modern Love."
Is monogamy really the best answer?
It reads like this:
Sue Johnson is a psychological professor at the University of Ottawa and after decades of neuroscience research into human emotion, claims that just like the bond parents have with their offspring, monogamous love makes sense as a survival code.
According to Johnson, humans are not wired to face the world alone.
Our brains are designed to use the people we love as physiological and emotional safety cues to make the world a safer place.
To quote Johnson, "Secure attachment---having one other person you can count on as an adult---is related to almost every index of good functioning, happiness and health."
Johnson says that social isolation can be detrimental to our health, citing increased risk of anxiety, strokes and heart attacks as side effects to loneliness.
Johnson claims that because we no longer live in small, close knit communities, "People now often depend on romantic love as their main source of social support."
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She explains that the trouble with polyamorous relationships is they don't fulfil our physiological bonding need to have "one person that we depend on, that we come first with."
From: diane@vancouver.ca
To: barclay1720@aol.com
Date: Tues., Mar 25, 2014 7:03PM
Pacific Daylight Saving Time
Hi my smiling Bohemian, Kato,
Thanks so much for the above article.
... sure hope you make a good friend of Mari when she moves to Vancouver.
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Interestingly enough, I did read that article by Sue Johnson and do believe she's on to something.
Actually, I've always believed that we are stronger together in this world with another to call our partner.
Having said that, though, some folks seem to do just fine.
I have a girlfriend who has been single for years & years and seems to be as happy as punch.
She has many and varied interests, a few friends, lots of peace & quiet and wants nothing further.
So, for her, it's a good life indeed.
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For me, I too like my alone time, but also seem to need the presence of another loving person.
So for me having a boyfriend, but not actually living with him, even though he dearly wishes it, seems to be the answer of the moment.
How about for you?
Are you having some thoughts about your new friend and what that might mean to your life?
Hope so, actually ... might just be what the doctor ordered, as they say here in Canada.
Thanks again,
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Love, Diane
So, Diane, you too like your alone time, but also need the presence of another loving person, eh?
Most definitely. How about you, Kato?
Well ... in Japanese, "human being" is written as "among people (人間)." So it is obvious that you can't live alone. In this sense, anyone needs the presence of another loving person, I suppose. But some people need the presence of more than one loving person.
Polyamorous relationships, huh?
That's right. By the way, Diane, the article you read contains the following passage:
Although life is easier when you have someone rooting for you, I'm hesitant to agree that monogamy is the only answer.
Johnson's theories discount the fact that humans can receive emotional support from other people besides their partner.
。。。
As for Johnson's assertion that couples in monogamous relationships have more satisfying sex lives, I'm sure many polyamorous people would argue that their sex lives are just as fulfilling, meaningful and scorching hot as those of monogamous couples.
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。。。
Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha present scientific and anthropological evidence that humans evolved from small-scale, egalitarian societies where partners were often interchanged---therefore, pointing to the fact that monogamy maybe isn't as "natural" as we have been led to believe.
However, I like to think that one of the byproducts of our evolution is personal choice.
Instead of trying to set ourselves into a set of binary categories, we should choose the relationship style that feels best to us at any given point in our lives whether that's monogamy, polyamory or something in between.
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SOURCE: "Modern Love"
Thuesday, March 20, 2014
http://vancouver.24hrs.ca/shesaid/
Quite interesting, isn't it? I like the idea that we should choose the relationship style that feels best to us at any given point in our lives whether that's monogamy, polyamory or something in between.
Yes, yes, yes, ... I agree with you, Diane. But some people are really moved to know that a certain couple are amazingly loyal to each other.
Oh ... ? Are you sure about that?
Yes, of course. The other day, I viewed the following movie.
So, Kato, you want me to see this movie, don't you?
Oh, yeeessss..., most definitely...'cause this is the kind of movies you'd love to see.
How do you know?
'Cause I've been talking with you on the net since 2011.
No kidding!
Seeing those articles written in the past is believing! And believe me, Diane, you would cry for joy once you're through the movie.
Well ... if you say so, I'll borrow the DVD from Joe Fortes Library. So, Kato, you value a loyal love more than anything else, huh?
Yes and no, I'd say.
Why is that?
It depends... You see, Diane, life is a matter of choice...
Originally posted on: April 01, 2014
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【Himiko's Monologue】
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"The Lost Valentine" is an emotionally-charged excellent movie.
I cried when I saw Caroline come across the coffin of her deceased husband at Union Station.
Oh, what a heart-wrenching story it is!
But I loved it.
I'm pretty sure that you'd love it, too.
Please run to the nearest library or video rental shop, and borrow one of the DVDs.
I believe that you wouldn't regret it.
In any case, I'd like to meet my "Romeo"---a decent man in my future life.
How come I'm always a loner?
I wish I could meet a nice gentleman at the library in my town as Diane met Kato.
Well, they say, there is a way where there is a will.
I hope Kato will write another interesting article.
So please come back to see me.
The film ends with Caroline, who has found peace and closure, seeing that the rosebush Neil had planted long ago in their garden has a new single bloom, the first in a long time.
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This incident seems to imply a long-lasting love, as she remembers her romantic moments with Neil in the same garden, to the sound of "Dream a Little Dream of Me" playing on the radio.
