Enlightenmentー悟り

Enlightenment ... This dimensional area is too different to distinguish so that it even accrues ridiculous when I mention it as being an ordinary man.
悟り…この領域は次元が違い過ぎて、凡人の私が言うと滑稽感さえある。

In physic science told that there up to 10 dimensions in the multi-dimensional theory.
物理学の多次元の理論では10次元まで存在するという。

The theory remains still hypothetic because to prove a science aspect it needs experimental conductions.
科学的に証明するには実験を行い証明する必要があるから、仮説のままである。

However, once upon a time the theory that our earth go around the sun was merely a hypothesis so 100 years later from now it will be possible to be proven the 10-dimensional theory.
しかし、はるか昔地球が太陽を回っているというのも仮説に過ぎなかったから多次元説も100年もすれば証明できるだろう。

I only know enlightenment with my head.
私は悟りについて頭だけで理解している。

It will be another dimension among knowing it by head and got it with actual feeling.
分かっているのと実際取得し感じているのでは、別の次元になってしまう。

Dogen the master of zazen reached to enlightenment through doing zazen and his teaching continues down to this present.
道元禅師は坐禅を行い悟りを得て、現代に至るまで教え続けている。

When I had run a school, said that I went to a Zazen meeting to my teachers, one of them asked me,
私が塾を経営していた頃、坐禅会に行ってきたと言ったら、講師の一人が、

"Well, did you get enlightenment?"
”で、悟りを得ましたか？”と聞いてきた。

Another six teachers in there also laughed loudly for some reasons when they heard,
そこにいた6人の講師と何故か大笑いして、

"I learned that my legs got pain" I replied and we laughed again.
”足が痛くなるのは分かりました”と答えてまた大笑いした。

To do correct meditation legs must be crossed so in a 40 minutes’ session the sitting still forms change to a fear.
正しい坐禅を行うには足を組まなければならないので40分も坐り続けていると足が痺れすぎて恐怖に変わっていく。

One hour sitting becomes paralyzing.
1時間坐ると感覚が麻痺してくる。

If someone continues doing it in many decades, then the preparation will be ready to put frontier enlightenment.
それを何十年も続けて悟りの境地に入れる準備が整えるのである。

I do not wish to get an enlightenment.
私は悟りを得たいと願わない。

This ordinary dimension is enough for me and I am satisfied with modern science that has been able to prove.
この次元で十分で、現代の科学が証明できている次元だけで満足できている。

Even without aiming to get enlighten, I do meditation occasionally and by doing it my mind no longer caught by worldly thoughts and can be calm.
悟りを目指さなくても、気が向いた時に坐禅を行うと心の騒ぎが治まり雑念に捕らわれなくなる。

For me being as an ordinary man, just doing one session of meditation brings a lot of healing than whatever psychoanalysis does.
凡人の私にはその領域がどんな精神分析よりも私を癒してくれる。

Dignity,品格...禅Zen

Person who has dignity make my mind calm when be with.
気品のある人といると心が穏やかになる。

And my mind become lighter and even feel like I can fly to the space from the ground.
心を軽くさせ、地上から時空へと飛んでいけるような感じさえある。

Elegance type differs by the carriers,
人それぞれ気品の漂いが違って、

I sometimes overwhelmed and has just followed to someone whose charm is irresistible.
圧倒されてしまい誘うがままに従ってしまう力を持つ人もいる。

Why are there human kinds who are elegant or vulgar.
どうして同じ人類なのに上品な人もいれば、下品な人もいるだろう。

Some vulgar people make me feel despicable,
下品な人は私たちの心を卑しくさせる。

bring unpleasant and let my mood down.
不愉快な気持ちにさせ、気分を低滅させる。

I want to be with dignity people.
私は気品のある人と一緒にいたい。

Because I can feel dignity of life and feel a sense of responsibility for behave.
なぜなら、生きることの尊厳、行いへの責任感を感じられるからだ。

When I lived in Japan,
日本に住んでた頃、

I used to walk around to look for a zazen course that held at a temple.
お寺の坐禅会を探し歩いた時があった。

Sometimes a monk looked like just wearing authority and couldn’t feel his prestige.
中にはただ権威的な身なりで品格を全く感じさせないお坊さんもいた。

But occasionally I was impressed by a monk has great elegancy.
けれど、たまに感動するほどお上品なお坊さんに出会ったこともあった。

It was like looking at a person who is doing zazen while he is walking.
まるで歩きながら坐禅を組んでいるように錯覚も覚えた時もあった。

Zazen makes us mind calm.
坐禅は私達の心を沈ませてくれる。

When my American husband has finished his second zazen session in his entire life, I found a quiet serenity appeared on his face that I never seen before.
私のアメリカ人の夫が生涯で2回目の坐禅を終えた時、彼の顔に今まで見られなかった静けさが現れたのは、国籍に関係なく坐禅は私たちの心を安定させる証であるだろう。
It is the testimony that zazen makes our minds stabilize regardless which nationality would be.

アメリカ人夫の坐禅体験記(My American husband's zazen experience)

夫にとっては初めての坐禅を無理強いさせた。
It was compulsion for my husband to do his first time zazen.

そうでなければ、彼は永遠に経験できないからである。
Otherwise, he never be experienced forever.

足を組む月下府座のところか、

半下府座さえ無理の無理なためソファーに座らせて、

両手を組ませ目の置く位置を定めさせた。
To take sitting form however,

-it is impossible to closed his legs onto tights neither both nor just one leg

-so I let him sit on sofa and explained how to place hands, where to see.

思考のカットや呼吸方法などを簡単に説明し、

初回のため私専用の70分線香が半分になったら終わることに時間をセットした。

〝..."
〝..."
I instructed briefly procedure of cut thoughts, how to focus on breathing, I set a time to end when the 70-mins longer incense stick gets half which is used for my full time.

"..."
"..."

坐禅の最初のセッションが終わると彼はそれらがどのようであったかを細々と説明してくれた。
When the first session of zazen is finished he gave me explaining how it was.

彼曰く、
He said,

坐禅が始まった途端、腕や足に痒みが走って搔きむしりたくなったようだが、動作を止められていたからできなく我慢したようだ。
As soon as zazen began, he seemed to have tempted terrible itching that ran to his arms and legs, but he didn’t scratch and stayed patient because of the form rule.

しかし、私が指示した通り、呼吸集中したら痒みが消えたと言う。
However, while he kept form as I instructed, the itching disappeared when he concentrated on breathing.

また、足が痺れてきた時も呼吸に意識を向けたら気を取らなくなったと報告してくれた。
Also told me that when he tried to focus on breathing he could no longer distracted even when his legs have numbed.

私の夫は弁護士の事柄喋るのがお仕事であるので、黙っていることに慣れていない。
My husband is an attorney so speak a lot so he is not accustomed to keep silence.

しかもじっと坐っていられない質でもある。
Moreover, as for him it is hard to keep sitting still.

常に喋り、何かをし、考え続けてきた彼にとって
He tends to talking always, do something when he is awakened, has kept thinking something…
喋らない！
何も行わない！
考えを切る！などは忍耐を要する試練にもなる。
But not talk!
Do nothing!
Cut the idea! These limitations be his test that requires patience.

坐禅は仏教の教えであるが、仏教徒でなくても精神を安定させるため、誰でも宗教関係なく演習やトレーニングとして行うことができる。
Zazen is a teaching of Buddhism but anyone can carry out doing zazen in order to stabilize the spirit without being religious and can be used as a mental training.

坐禅はどの宗教や宗派、国々、性別年齢に関係なく経験することができる。
Zazen allows to have an experience no matter what religion people believe or which religious school belong to, what country nationality who has, which gender is, what age…

私の夫は無宗教を選んだ人なので、宗教について私たちは討論しない。
Since my husband chosen a non-religion, we do not discuss religions.

坐禅を終えて彼は生き生きした表情をし、目を輝かせて、落ち着くようになった。
When after he experienced Zazen, he showed vividly brighter face with his eyes shining and began to calm down.

坐禅を無理強いさせることは教えに反することであるが、そうでないと絶対自分の実存に気づくことはできない。
Forcing Zazen is against its teaching but if he is not forced to do zazen absolutely he would never realize his real existence.

老け対策 'Anti-aging'

老けて見える女は無視される。
A woman who looks old is ignored.
老けて見える女は只の人類の一人であり、男が追う対象ではない。
A woman looks old is merely one of humanity and men don’t chase looking old women.

日本に住んでた時、
When I lived in Japan,
毎週温泉に通い、女体の生き様とその変貌を見た。
I used to go to hot springs every week and watched women’s way of life and the transfiguration of the body of a woman.

年に1度か2度、運がいい日は歳を取っても魅力的な女を見かけた。
Once or twice a year, if I was lucky, I saw an attractive woman who takes aging beautifully.
その女は、癌の治療中か髪の毛がほとんど抜け落ちていてタオルで頭をはおっていた。
The woman hair was almost falling off so she wrapped her head with towel to hide, she looked like taking a treatment of her cancer.
年齢は60代の半ばのようで、肌は白く、余計な脂肪も少なく、バランスの取れた体つきをしていた。
Age is as of mid-60s, skin is white, without extra fat or useless fat on her body she has a balanced figure.
私は彼女にバッタリ会った日は、何故かお風呂にいる時間が楽しくなった。
When I could see her by chance I felt like having fun time in the bath without no particular reasons.
声をかけようかと迷いに迷ったが、挨拶すら出来なかった。
I tried to find a chance talk to her but even could not say hello.
けれど、彼女は私に年を取ってもキレイに老ける可能性がある希望を与えてくれた。
But she gave me a hope that there is a possibility can get old beautifully.
彼女を見かけた日は、気分は晴れて訳もなく楽しく感じてきたのである。
The day I could see her my mood became fine like sunny sky.


人は老けを避けることはできない。
People cannot avoid aging.
たが、きれいに老けることはできる。
But can get old beautiful.

キレイに老けるにはどうしたらいいか？
How can we do to indulge beautiful?
先ずは、心の雑念を掃い、
First of all, it needs to swept the mind of worldly thoughts,
体が必要とする食べ物を食べ、
Eat the food that the body needs,
自分にも他人にもいいことをし、
Do good things for their own and to others,
気が向いた時は坐禅をする。
Do a session of zazen when mind needed it.


私は50才だ。
I'm 50 years old.
このプロピールの写真は2週間前に撮られ化粧のない素顔である。
This Profile photo is taken two weeks ago without make-up.
人は私の年相応に見ない。
People do not see my biologic age.
10年前の写真を見ると、今より老けていたので驚く。
Looking at photos taken 10 years before I surprised because they look older than now.

老けて見える女はどこかで自分の磨きをしなかったに違いない。
I guess a woman looks older must have not polished her shape during her daily life.
あるいは、家事、育児に追われて自分の時間を持てなかったかもしれない。
It may come from the results of housework, chased by child care so they might not able to have their own time.
女になることを諦めて、良い母に存在価値をおいていたからかもしれない。
Perhaps they put the existence value to be a good mother instead of being a woman.

自分という存在は扱いにややこしい。
Presence of self is tricky to treat.
手を抜くとたちまちしっぺ返しを受ける。
If a woman pulls out the hand for their daily treatment they immediately receive a tit-for-tat.
自分に拘り過ぎると他人に嫌われる。
If a woman possesses her own too much then she disliked by others.
ややこしい...
Confusing ...

年を取っても、病気になっても、生きるのに忙しくても、
Take aging, even in the disease, even though busy to live,
私はきれいを保ちたい。
I want to keep my aging neat.
その近道は坐禅であると私は信じている…
And I believe the short cut can be doing zazen…

English virsion of 『心の病気、自他関係性について』

To become a reader someone’s blog I made this blog, I wrote these diary-blog for my personal satisfaction without expectation who even tries to read.
Surprisingly! 2 readers game me registrations. Moreover, those two readers are writing serious articles.

I thought nobody would not show any of interest for my blog.
If there is someone who is interested in human spirit rather than just writing about individual favorites I want to continue to write this blog and English version also.
Mental disease…
Thus own cells continue to grow increasing the pilfering within unaware.
A lump of ego makes the disease cycle especially by the mass of mental-fat in mind.
The fat which is attached to the ego when it is fed once a mental disease cell starts to survived in the brain.
"I, which is closed"
"Only me"
"Making easier"
"At that time I had to undergo such a cruel treatment"
"I always should be happy" I think such self-based fundamental thinking aspects start to gulp to the nerve cell terminal.
Originally, some parts of mind space are need to receive for the presence of others in order to take balance in relationships but if the mind space are filled with merely ego, then mental diseases begin to materialize to be visible.
The mental disease is not immobilized and it has form of variety of shapes such as,

A severe person to oneself tend to has depression symptom,
A person who severe to others tend to be hysterical,
Self-spoiling person tend to schizophrenia,
A person who clings to their own judgment tend to have PTSD.

Mental disease, is it can cure?
Can we be able to overcome the sweetness of our presence?

It will take time to dealing with but I have thought it is possible to be healed in 60%.
To making sure, determine the distinction between self and others, find right ratio of awareness oneself and to others, correcting self-satisfaction etc.

By doing Zazen, majored psychology, self-study, those could let me released from my own mental prison.
If someone knows there are other ways to find out healing mental disease, tell me how because I will try it.
Instead of just think in your head ...

心の病気、自他関係性について

　誰かの読者になるためこのブログを作って、何の期待もなく英語で一人満足の日記を書いていたら
何と！2人が読者登録をして下さった。
しかもその二人の方は、真面目な記事を書いている。

私は誰も私に関心を示さないと思った。
誰か、個人の好き嫌い以外に人間の精神について、しかも英語の記事を読める人がいるなら、私はこのブログを書き続けたい。

心の病気、
それは気づかない内に忍びよって自ら細胞を増やし増殖し続ける。
エゴの塊、特にそれらの脂肪の塊によってサイクルが回り始まるのだ。
一旦、エゴについている脂肪を餌に生き延び始めると、脳の中に

”自分まで”
”私から”
”楽になる”
”私はあの時、そのようなむごい扱いを受けてはならなかった”
”私は常に幸せになるはずだ”などの思いが神経細胞の端末にぐっつき始める。

本来なら、他人の存在を受けるべき心のスペースも少しづつ自分のみの満足を満たすために占拠し始めると、
やがては心の病気は、目に見える実体化し始める。
その病気は、固定化していなく、人の性格特徴によって様々な形を形成している。

自分に厳しい人はうつ病に、
他人に厳しい人はヒステリックに、
自分に甘い人は分裂症に、
自分の判断に執着する人は心害性障害に、

心の病気は、果たして治せるのか？
自分という甘い存在を乗り越えることはできるだろうか？

時間は掛かるだろうが、私は60％可能だと思っている。
その方法として、
先ずは、自他の判断区別、自他の割合の調節、自己満足度を振り返るなど、

私は坐禅を行い、心理を専攻し、独学を通して自らの監獄から解放された。
誰か、他の方法を知る者がいるなら私に伝えてほしい、なぜなら私はそれを試すからだ。
頭で考える前に…

Can we heal our minds by doing zen-meditation?

...Why we sometimes suffering from past memory?
Why some of past memories still make us suffering?

I had unhappy childhood and the historical memories kept me feeling pain even I became an adult.
To remove the pain I majored psychology at University and I was desperate to be healed.
The memories overlapped in front of me and made me agony even though it is past many decades ago.

The psychological knowledge were not able to remove the painful memories but it could make me sure why I felt unhappy.
I thought if I know every mental functions,causes and results,brain works,memory works I would be able to heal my mind.
So I tried and tried,kept studying,reading books...
But vivid pain was getting clear against my will that make them fade out.

One day when I was reading a book about brain, the writer did meditation and wrote that he could feel easy.
With doubt I tried...it was 8 or 9 years ago when I first sat and had one session of meditation.

Since then I have been doing zen meditation which way of Soutosyu-zen (曹洞宗　坐禅）
I participated temple zen meditation course for 8 years.
Every September first weekends Soutosyu-young monks held 2 days course zen training in Kawagoe city Japan.

They taught me how to do,what is basic theory, the manner, the rules.
At a moment when I was sitting in the middle of a session,I don't know when was it but I found the sharp pain was gone in my mind when the memories popped out and spreading the wings.
There was no physical pain but only the memories.

The memories had been stabbed like a knife on my mind for almost 30 years but after I just 5 years or less of zen training which was on and off irregularly held,it removed the stabbing knife.

I can't answer for my own questions, "Why we sometimes suffering from past memory?"
"Why some of past memories still make us suffering?"
If someone has same question please try a meditation.
If you do you can find the way, to reach to an answer...

The pain caused by sitting still

Pain...when doing a session of zazen there always be pains.
It starts with leg numbness and process to sharp pain with fear that legs would have injury.
By time passing once give an attention to the pain,it starts taking control whole mind.
To avoid the pain,starts to waiting finish time and counting left minutes.

Actually the pain is can bare but the fear that legs would have a blood stream problem if sitting still.
But if you could cut the circular fear, the pain would calm down.
Pain is like a wavelength, if there is an antenna it can take charge and begin to turn on.

So important thing is,focus on breathing but this breathing is not easy.
It can keep on minutes but brain keeps bring in a past memory that related with breathing.
You can't realize you are distracted from simple breathing when you didn't cut the breathing related thoughts.

Pain is necessary result it should not be a reason to avoid,without pain you can't see what your brain giving to you.

What can get from doing zazen

Zen instructors teach us that should not expect a merit from meditation and I agree.
Some kinds of meditation group let learners focus on a question such as "What is I",seeking an answer within themselves.
I don't follow such set a goal to do because I am tired of thinking on one conception.
We humans as known as thinking animals always think too much, sometimes a thought thinks itself.
We need to think of living a life,to do a work,to make a relationship with others, to gain self satisfied desires, to achieve purpose...but some people think too much about past happenings,a relationship which is broke up,sickness which came from wrong diets...
Those things whether good to think or not,they can't make it better by thinking.
By think deep the reality never change.
Every present situation only can change by doing,actually do to change the energy.
So simply sitting is the actual doing.
When a body keeps doing still,the mind will bring thing to do such as past things,some memories,concerning, worries, a desire that want to have...there are a lot of thought even are not linked to each other.
A thought to just to think.

See the way of thought,how they work,come and go,booming and disappearing.
A zen teacher once said,just see as if watching a passing train in front of you.
Thinking is just like he described, it is a passing train so we can't catch up.
By see a thought the mind begin to calm down.

So you can get calmness by sitting.
However it is indescribable if someone actually don't do,it cannot be described by reading,by knowing.

Realized

Yesterday,did meditation and realized that legs numbness caused by sitting still does not link to pain when mind does not predict.

I focused on breathing and stopped the judgement of my thought.
Just did the way I was taught.

If someone knows what is thinking and realize that the thinking is merely happened in brain synapse, like some branches winding from breaze.

Mind is like a tree,if is is windy day the tree winding,if it is stormy day a tree may broken its branches.
Like outside today, there is no wind and sunny,the branches and leaves are stay still.
If we don't make wind or storm, our minds can be still.