急行特急は行く…

I don't know why but I feel heavy even though I am going to go the place where will happen enjoyable.I can't believe. The weekend night just start so many of people's face looks happy.
A'nt I happy now? I think the answer is “no”.It is caused by nextweek days or the day before yesterday's incident.
The terminal is coming soon but I still desponted.What should I do?

心のどこかで、それはまとまっているのかもしれないが、何かはっきりとしないまま、時間だけが流れている。
電車に乗って、戻っている途中。何か不思議な感覚である。昨日調子に乗って、アルコール入れてまくし立てた所為もありそうだ。 今年はやったら酒が入っているなと思う。それの分だけ、自分という名の歴史と相手という名の歴史に、良い悪いは別にして、出来事を刻みこんでいる。気が付けば、いつもそこにあったものがいつしかなくなり再び取り戻した時がやって来たのは幸いである。問題はそれが長く続くかにある。

If I can back to the time where am I have to back.
I do not want to think my decesion was wrong and do not want to regret my decesion.But I want to go to or find another way.I know there is nothing of the way which I am thinking. A society often ask us to change even though a personal charactor but do you change your charactor? I know my opinion isn't admitted by anybody.On the other hand I think most of the person do not want to admit anybody. By the way,after I graduated school,I work in the society but I think it is difficult to do well many things.Why the society compricate and dislike me.Am I a bad person? I lost the way...

複雑な心模様のままに迎えた土曜日。始まったものは、止まれない。それでも尚、と続く想いは…