私の秘密

> An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
>
> He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
> of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
>
> The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
> said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that
> you can hear again."
>
> The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit
> around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

安部 違い

＞＞
Anniversary Celebration For Sure!



Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?" "No, sweetheart," she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?" "Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn't send that one, either."

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you kiss me?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!"

すごい美人

医者の友人と会いました。
彼は私の健康のことをいつも気にかけてくれていて、過度な運動など、やっちゃいけないことのリストを作ってくれていました。
彼は「この間、すごい美人と手をつないで歩いていたじゃない。どうしたんだよ」って聞きましたので、
あんたのところで「もう余命いくばくも無い」って言われたって伝えたんだよ。