たばこの気持ち

I have always found Masahiko Shimada's novels appealing because of the vigor of his language, and this "Yumemuso" lived up to my expectations. The descriptions of cigarettes were almost devoid of specific brands, and moreover, they all used the kanji character for "cigarette".

［Pages 147-148］

I felt sorry for the men who are nothing more than a chess piece in the information society, and I felt more sorry for myself for trying to be one of those men, and I wanted to feel something with my body, something I could see, touch with my hands, rub against my cheeks or something, I wanted to collide with that thing. I wanted to bump into that thing. I decided to leave getting married and bumping into a man as a last resort, and anyway, I decided to bump into someone completely different from the world I live in, the history I have, the things I feel, and so on, at random.

Katagiri laughed only with the left half of his mouth and let out smoke from it. It was as if a voice was radioed from the back of his throat saying, "Youth is good. Anyway, if this guy doesn't like me, I'm going to have a hard time doing my job". Maiko was afraid of the eyes behind Katagiri's glasses. They are the kind of eyes that inevitably turn toward the past, which she doesn't want to remember.

［page 152］

The eyes behind the glasses glowed. Did I say something wrong? The sweet-smelling smoke, it's almost intoxicating. Mr. Katagiri only laughed twice, his voice wrinkled.