【115ページ】「煩悶」(明治35年頃)
アッ苦しいナ、痛いナ、アーアー人を馬鹿にしているじゃないか、馬鹿、畜生、アッ痛、アッ痛、痛イ痛イ、寝返りしても痛いどころか、じっとしていても痛いぞ。
アーアーいやになってしまう。もうだめかな。もういかんぞ。ほんとうに人を馬鹿にしとる。いやになっちまうな。いやになりんすた。いやだいやだも----だっていやがらア。衣、骭(かん、すねの骨)にーーー至りーーーか、天下の英雄は眼中に在りーーーか。
【126~127ページ】
◯利口なようで愚 なのは伊藤候なり。--------。近くは滄浪閣に詩人を招き候自ら階を下って迎うるなどその雅量といい謙徳といいさすがはこの人なりこころにくくものせられたりと見るその時衆客に示されたる候の詩は体を失しかつ威張りに威張りたるごとく感じられる。候にしても威張る意ありて作られしならばなかなかめでたけれども恐らくは候は謙遜の意にて作りたるなるべきか。候の律詩に精しからぬためかく聞ゆるならんか。これ利口なようで愚かな処なり。詩に精しからざると知らば利口な人は詩を作らざるべし。----候の側に侍(はべ)る詩家は詩人として立派なる技量を有すれども候を諌むるの胆力無くついに候をして思わぬ恥を掻かしむにいたる。由来候の幕下には才子多くして侃々諤々(かんかんがぐがく、思ったままを言い議論すること)の士無し。これ一大欠点なり。
[ken] 115ページの痛みに関する記述については、私も昨年の胆のう炎で痛みを体験したので、正岡子規さんほどではないにしろ、少なからず共感させられました。自分でも未経験な痛みが続くと、それは、それはとても不安になります。手術前の一時退院をしていたとき、痛み止めをもらっていたのですが、あまりの痛さに半ば悲鳴をあげながらタクシーで病院へ向かい、痛みも治まって担当医から原因と今後の対処をお聴きし、やっと安心できたことがありました。また、「天下の英雄は眼中に在り」は、126~127ページで「愚か者」として取り上げている、まさに伊藤博文候の「某楼に飲す」という題の漢詩であることがとても面白かったです。当時から詩吟の教科書に載り、盛んに吟じられていたようですね。苦し紛れの呻き、痛みをはぐらかそうとするのに、下手とか上手とかに構ってはいられないわけで、覚えた漢詩を吟じるように暗唱したのでしょう。(つづく)
Page 115] "Agony" (circa 1902)
Ah, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts not only when I turn over, it hurts even when I stay still.
It hurts not only when I turn over, but even when I stay still. I can't take it anymore. I can't go on. I'm really making a fool of myself. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to be able to do anything about it.
(pages 126-127)
It is Ito-soro who seems to be clever but is stupid. --------. The poet was invited to Cangnanggak and was welcomed downstairs himself. If the poem had been composed with the intention of being dignified, it would have been quite beautiful, but perhaps the poem was composed with the intention of being humble. Is it because he is not as proficient in ritsu poetry as he should be? This may seem clever, but it is foolish. If you know that you are not good at poetry, a clever person should not make poetry. The poets who are at the side of the "Duke of Cologne" have fine skills as poets, but they lack the courage to admonish the "Duke of Cologne," and finally they bring him unexpected shame. There were many talented men and women under the shogunate, but no one who was willing to debate and argue. This is a major fault.
[Ken] Regarding the description of pain on page 115, I experienced pain due to gall bladder inflammation last year, so I could relate to it, though not as much as Mr. Shiki Masaoka. When the pain that I have not experienced continues, it is, it is very unsettling. When I was temporarily discharged from the hospital before my surgery, I was given painkillers, but the pain was so bad that I took a cab to the hospital halfway screaming. I also found it very interesting that the poem "The Hero of the World is in Your Eyes" was a Chinese poem titled "Drinking in a Certain Building" by Ito Hirobumi-doro, who is featured as a "fool" on pages 126-127. It seems to have been included in shigin textbooks and actively recited since that time. It is likely that they recited the Chinese poems they had memorized as if they were reciting a poem. (continued)