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英語便(Eigobin) 2014

2014-09-23 09:06:33 | 英語便 www.eigobin.com
Dsc_0558_2  英語便(www.eigobin.com/)のすばらしさはGetUpEnglishで何度も紹介しているが、このサイトのおかげで、わたしはTOEICスピーキングテスト/ライティングテスト(SWテスト)のライティング・テストで、200点満点が取れるまでになった。
 英日翻訳に加えて、日英翻訳、英文ライティングをす ることが多くなった。1日のメールの半分は英語で書いている。
 そんな状況なので、英語便にはほぼ毎日お世話になっている。英文を提出すると、ほぼ48時間以内に戻してくれるのでありがたい。またTOEIC SWやTOEFL iBTも定期的に受けているが、こちらの学習でも大変助けられている。こうしたテストにあわせたコースも最近は用意されているので、すごく助かる。 http://www.eigobin.com/toeicsw.php 
 
 本日のGetUpEnglishは、最近提出したわたしの英文記事と添削例を示し、英語便のサービスのすばらしさを改めて紹介したい。
 
先日21日のTOEIC SWテスト対策のために、Opinion Qustionを一つ書いて、提出した。問題は次のものだった。
 
 
 Write an opinion essay (30 Minutes 300 Words)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "The customer is always right." Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
 
 
 こちらを573語も書いてしまったのだが、次のように懇切丁寧に添削されたものが戻ってきた。
 
01.I disagree with the statement that the customer is always right.  Let me explain my opinion from my experience as an editor at a publishing house.
02.
03.Fundamentally,  makers     manufacturers   including publishers like us should try to satisfy our customers completely with our products. In order to do that, we are working very hard every day to provide  them   a perfect item for them. However, some  of them  products    could never satisfy  with   them, even though they seem to have the best  ones   products   they've never had.
04.
05.I am an editor working for  one of the most established publishers in this country.  In my 24 year career, I have published 200 books including very comprehensive dictionaries. In 2007, I  have   finally published very educational and informative English-Japanese dictionaries which took us more than 10 years. I was so pleased to know that most of our customers are truly satisfied  with  our products and they kindly appreciate our hard  job work   . However,  someday   one day    a customer called me to tell that our crystallization of long years has a lot of mistakes. I politely  dealt   with him to let me know about those mistakes. After talking with him, however, I found that he  could     caught   only one misprint.  He was right. In our dictionary, the word "impeccable" was written as "impecable."   I was terribly sorry  of for     my readers. By telling me that only misprint, however, the customer strongly criticized us  by saying  that our dictionary is filled with  mistakes .   I would like to say that nobody is perfect and our dictionaries are not "impeccable" either. Of course we editors and lexicographers should try to avoid any mistakes and misprints, but such mistakes cannot be avoided.   I would like  to   our customers  to  kindly understand that. I believe our dictionary helps customers study English a lot.  However, some of them never try to appreciate our effort and keep on criticizing us with very strict words.
06.
07.In addition, they sometimes try to attack us by posting negative  comments  on  a website. That is becoming a big problem among us.
08.
09.After  the    advent   of the Internet and online  bookstores , the way  to people     purchase books has rapidly changed. Now many  customers   enjoy shopping at  an   influential online bookstores like Amazon.com. It is very sad again to see that there are many vicious comments on some  merchandise   which  seemed   to be very good  for to     me. As an editor, I need to check our  customers' responses   after putting out  our  each  of our   products . To see a negative comment on our  merchandise   is unbearable. Although some of the comments they insist might be right, most of them are not, and   I suspect that some reviews have been written with a special purpose. With those negative comments, the reviewers try to make the customer not   to   buy our products. Due to such negative comments, our sales sometimes  are forced to   drop rapidly. To my sadness, those  nuisance  reviews  of nuisance   are sometimes written by our competitors or people who strongly support them. They wrote those reviews even though they have never read or  experienced   it.  It is not healthy for us to criticize each other.    And I must say that the customers who wrote those inappropriate reviews should consider what they have done.
10.
11.Some customers always criticize  makers   manufacturers    even though they have one of the best things from them. Furthermore, they sometimes  distribute  give manufacturers a    bad reputation  of makers   by  posting   vicious  reviews  on the web. These are the  reasons   why I must say that customers are not   always right.
オレンジ:スペルミス/紫:変更されたワード/赤:付加された必要ワード/緑:不必要なワード/青:意味が解りづらいもの/不自然な言い回し/青緑 : Impressive!(自然/クリエイティブな表現)
 
そして、かたまりごとに、添削してくれる先生のとってもありがたいコメントがついてくる。
 
 01. Nice opening!
02.
03. we usually say: 'something makers' (dressmakers or bookmakers) but we don't use 'makers' by itself. 'Manufacturers' would be okay here.
you don't need to use 'them' twice in this sentence
In this final sentence, because you use 'them' and 'ones' very often, it's confusing, because we are not 100% sure what you mean. So, I have replaced some of them with the actual item to make your meaning clear.
04.
05. you can use 'I have published' when you are talking about your repeated experiences. But this is a one time publishing, so we would use the regular past tense 'I finally published'
the structure is: someone + is satisfied + with + something
'job' is the actual career that you have. We use 'work' when we talk about 'hard work' or 'easy work'
'someday' = in the future / 'one day' = can be future or past
'deal' is the present tense but you need the past tense 'dealt' here
using the regular past tense 'he caught' would be more common here
the structure is: I am sorry + for + someone
we need to say *how* he criticized you, so the structure would be: he criticized us + by + verb-ing
the structure is: I would like someone + to + verb
06.
07. 'comment' is a countable noun so you need the plural  here
08.
09. 'bookstore' is a countable noun so you need the plural here
'customer' is a countable noun so you need the plural
'merchandise' isn't usually used as a countable noun, so you don't need the plural here
your thinking about your product was in the past, before the comments, so you should use the past tense 'it seemed to  be...'
'customer's response' = 1 customer response / 'customers' responses' = 2 or more responses from customers
we usually use 'and' as a conjunction to join two sentences together. You can sometimes use it for a new sentence if you have a new point. But here your points are linked, so let's link the sentences with a comma.
the structure is: nuisance + noun
'experience' is the present tense but you need the past tense 'experienced' here
10.
11. the most common phrase is: A + gives B + a bad reputation
remember to use 'not' in this final sentence, because you do not agree with the statement.
 
This was a fantastic essay! Your essay was well-structured and overall your English was very accurate. Your real life stories made me feel sad for you! Whether they are true stories or not, I could really feel your opinion. Great work!
-Jennifer
 
 
 これが大体48時間以内に戻されて、(チケット制なのではっきりしないが)値段もせいぜい3000円ぐらいだ。
 
 英語便、最近はTOEFLのカリスマ、ポール・ワーデン、四軒家忍ともに、『TOEFL iBT 完全教本』も出した。
 
英語便の無料添削も付いている。ぜひ試してほしい。
 
 TOEIC SWやTOEFL iBTほか、英文ライティングがあるテストを受ける人は、英語便が絶対おすすめだ。
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